we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
