I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
