Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
