I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
