let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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