Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
