why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well I just put wine in my tea
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
