I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
