oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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