How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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