And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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