he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
