Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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