i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
