So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't think brook has ever known best
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just pee around me
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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