I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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