I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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