So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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