Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
