He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
my poor anus
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
