I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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