How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
