Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
