Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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