Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
