I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
