i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm both gender and math confused
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
