mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
is wine microwaveable?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
