matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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