When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
