brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
