mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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