I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
