One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
