And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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