yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
