So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
