dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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