I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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