did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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