It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
