The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
