In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
