I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
