Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
