Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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