u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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