wanna go halves on a baby?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
