grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
