John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
