she was so not down for the gang bang
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
