I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
