I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
