dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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