Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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