Green mimosas i think yes
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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