hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
